I can't believe it's been more than a year since my last post. A lot has happened...

The ablation worked. Terrifying procedure though. My cardiologist is good...but has NO patient skills. He did not think that a life time of trauma would make a difference in his treatment plan... My therapist and I worked hard to prepare for it. I could not be asleep for it because the medication stopped the PVC's. There was no warning when he zapped the part of my heart that was misfiring...Just intense pain in my chest. It was a very traumatizing experience. But...I am grateful that it worked!!

Not long after the ablation, another memory of watching my father kill someone (Amy) started coming out. My therapist and I began tackling it with EMDR and energy work. Lots of tapping. After several months, I finally got a large chunk of it remembered. I was going to share it in my next session, when my therapist canceled due to illness. A week or two later he called and told me he had cancer. He died 2 months later.

I worked with him for 7 years. It took the first 5 years to figure out what worked...and how to do it. We were moving mountains towards the end. It has been one of the biggest losses in my life. After some research, I found a therapist who does a lot of energy work, is good with kids, and is generally awesome. I am blessed! I haven't unpacked the "Amy" memory yet. It has taken much longer than I thought to be willing to commit to starting over with a new therapist.

I've been amazed at the new therapist's approach. She is focusing on my body pain & illnesses, and it is resolving the trauma. (Nice!!) I'm learning that there is more than one way to attack memories...since the body holds the trauma.